Blizzard freakout: The fear has set in. Revenge of Snowpocalypse is on. Here's a sample itinerary for the storm for your review:

S-Day -1: Head to the grocery. Fight old lady for last marble rye, even though you hate marble rye. Get word to next of kin re: burial plans, you select: Viking Funeral. When snowfall commences go home turn out the lights and make peace with God.

S-Day 0: Awake after storm to a winter wonderland. Drink hot cocoa. Pretend this relaxes you. Settle in watch some movies, you pick "The Shining." That was a bad idea. You discover that you are not feeling so well. Panic oozes through your veins. You have to dig out or you might get all "Here's Johnny" on someone. Have a fight with your spouse/roommate/sigother and storm out abruptly. Outside, you discover a neighbor/roommate/friend has stolen/borrowed/broken your shovel. Doesn't matter. You decide you can do this with your bare hands. That's crazy. Take pill to stop all the voices in your head. Greet snow plowman as liberator.

S-Day +1: Freedom has returned. All is returning to normal. Spouse/roommate/sigother is still not speaking with you. Wonder what you are going to do with all this extra food and complain to spouse/roommate/sigother about all the salt that stupid plowman left on your car. Wonder how people in Wisconsin ever manage to survive. Pretend none of this ever happened and await instructions from dark overlord regarding upcoming week's car pool.